Statutory R@Pe who is the real Victim by Tanyaeyssen75

 🐝 Bee Happy More – Love Notes 💌

A Journey Through Love, Growth & Connection

👉Scroll Down New Update Bee Happy More Love Notes 3#👇👇

BEE HAPPY MORE by Tanyaeyssen75

Welcome to Bee Happy More Love Notes, a page dedicated to exploring the sweetness, challenges, and lessons of love in all its forms. Here, we talk about relationships 👪👫 not just romantic ones, but the quiet love that exists between family, friends, pets, and even within ourselves.

Every post is a Love Note ❤ a small piece of heart shared to inspire reflection, kindness, and healing.

🐝 Bee Happy More Love Note #1

Lessons of Love: What I Learned from My First Marriage 💔➡💛

Before I met my husband, I had a few failed relationships ❤ and each one taught me something about love, boundaries, and self-worth. I want to share my story, what I learned, and how I’ve used those lessons to build a healthier, happier relationship today.

I met my ex-husband, Jaco, when I was just 13. He was older, charming, and seemed to understand me at a time when I felt invisible. Growing up mostly with my grandparents, I knew little about relationships or the realities of love. I only knew I wanted to be loved and to create something of my own ❤ a family, a child, someone who wouldn’t leave me.

Back then, I didn’t realize how pain can make you reach for the wrong people, or how loneliness can look like love when your heart is searching for safety.

Jaco was my best friend. He made me laugh, bought me small gifts, and seemed to care. But soon I saw another side of him ❤ one filled with lies, jealousy, and control. He had other girls, and though my heart wanted to fix him, I couldn’t. I manipulated the situation too at times, asking for things I wanted, thinking love could be earned or traded.

When I became pregnant, my life changed. My father forced us to marry. What should have been a time of new beginnings turned into years of pain. Jaco became abusive ❤ physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I lost everything I had, even my sense of self.

It took nearly twenty years of prayer, faith, and courage to walk away. And when I did, I promised myself: Never again would I choose love for the wrong reasons.

I learned that love cannot be bought, begged for, or built on broken trust.

I learned that if you try to change someone, you lose yourself in the process.

And I learned that when you put God first, even shattered hearts can heal.

Today, I’m blessed with a wonderful husband ❤ a man who respects me, protects me, and walks beside me as my equal. But I also understand that healthy love takes work. It means keeping each other emotionally full, spiritually grounded, and yes, romantically connected.

Ladies, my advice is simple:

💋 Don’t lose your sparkle ❤ put away the granny nightgown and surprise your man.

💬 Communicate your needs before resentment grows.

🙏 And when life feels heavy, pray and write ❤ journaling has helped me understand my emotions and heal deeply.

🐝 Bee Happy More Love Note #2

This morning, I woke up for the first time in many weeks without shoulder spasms, and I couldn't wait to get into my garden⚘. My husband made my weekend the best it could be. We have a love language that is special and inspirational.
 
Our love language revolves around touching and spending time together, even if it sometimes involves silence 😄like when we play Walking Dead: Survivor or just chill together, always touching each other. Before we met, neither of us knew about love languages. One of my favorites is planting. I love flowers🎕; it's the only thing I can draw without needing a reference.
 
On Sunday morning, my husband got up early to do the laundry and clean the floors. He always spoils me, and I treat him like the Leader of the House, as the Bible intended. I believe a woman should be by her husband’s side, not above him, and because of this belief, I have lost a lot of friends over the years. I have been a loner for many years, but a year ago, I met someone special.

👉Go Read Please From The Bible: 1 Corinthians 11:3; Ephesians 5:23; 1 Peter 3:7; 1 Timothy 3:4-5👈

It took us a journey to get where we are today, but the smallest things make the biggest difference. This morning, he rearranged our garden, and after my walk🦵, I took beautiful photos👉Check them out on my TikTok!👈 I have never felt the love I feel now. In the kitchen and in my studio office, he has placed flowers he picked from our garden.

 ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Love consists of those small moments where we do something without expecting anything in return. We fill each other’s hearts with love and patience. He has been incredibly supportive as I struggle with trust issues; I tend to have difficulty trusting anyone without seeing them face to face.
 
He once received a damaged flower with burned leaves. With patience, he removed all those leaves, and together, we planted our roots in new soil—soil based on love and patience. We always hold each other in high regard, ensuring that our actions reflect that respect. If you can’t do something in front of them, know that it is wrong.
 
It has been a long journey that I will share in the coming days. But for now, know that there is hope. One night in my past, I was crying as I often did after experiencing abuse. I prayed to God, asking for a caring and loving man. In my mind, I imagined a man who was happy with me, surrounded by photos of us, sharing a kiss at a church wedding 👰 a vision of us becoming one. And I received that.
 
Not only that, but I got a bonus 👀 a man who can fix anything! He is intelligent, creative, and handsome, with blue eyes, dark hair, a strong face, beautiful hands, and dimples on his back. "Van Kroontjie tot Toontjie," I love him.
 
Our garden is filled with flowers and plants, including cacti 🌵 my favorite, as they can survive in ways that other flowers cannot. They grow every day, just as our love continues to flourish into something amazing and beautiful.

🪶 Bee Happy Healing Tools

Journaling Prompt: “What have I learned about myself from past relationships?”

Therapy Tip: Must-read article about Love Language Source: Verywell Mind 👉Slap the Link👈

Scrapbooking, I love adding to my daily notes, that is a scrapbook, I love it, and it's been a big part of my healing journey.

Faith & Growth: Read Proverbs 4:23 – “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Affiliate Pick: Try the Bee Happy Self-Reflection Journal 🐝 ❤ a simple, guided journal to release pain and rediscover joy. 👉View on Benable Amazon Link👈

🐝 Bee Happy More Love Note #3

When Trust Turns Dangerous ⚠ And Who the Real Victim Is

There’s a tragedy inside every family story. A moment when trust is misplaced, when love is given too freely, and when the people we believe in turn out to be the ones who hurt us the most.

Shakespeare’s King Lear may be centuries old, but I lived a version of it 👀 with real people, real consequences, and real heartbreak.

💀💀💀

👑 The King Lear We All Carry

In King Lear, an aging king hands his kingdom to the daughters who flatter him.

He rejects the one daughter who actually loves him — Cordelia — simply because she will not lie.

His mistake destroys him.

We had our own Lear moment.

We trusted someone we thought was safe.

We believed the story.

We believed the promises.

And like Lear, we were betrayed by the person we least expected.

For over five years, my husband’s father took money from us — monthly, quietly, without honesty. We believed we were paying for our car. We believed we were helping him.

But the truth came crashing down: not a cent went where he said it would.

💀💀💀

🚗 The Car That Revealed the Lies

We trusted him with the car payments. Our car. Our hard-earned wages.

But the money went somewhere else.

To something else.

To someone else.

Just like Lear’s daughters who turned against him, the truth showed us that loyalty was not returned.

His wife of 44 years was betrayed. His children were misled. The family bond was broken behind closed doors.

💀💀💀

💔 The Downfall Nobody Saw Coming

Today, he lives in a Wendy house on the rough side of town with a young woman — the same young woman who mysteriously received money all those years.

He is not just losing possessions.

He is losing reputation.

He is losing dignity.

He is losing the people who once stood by him without question.

And like Lear wandering the storm, he may finally be facing the consequences of years of decisions that cannot be undone.

💀💀💀

⚠ The Dangerous Path of Statutory R@pe: Who Is the Real Victim?

This is where the story grows darker 💀 and where families need to understand the truth.

Statutory r@pe isn’t just about age.

It’s about power, vulnerability, and responsibility.

Sometimes the world paints a very simple picture:

Older man = predator

Younger woman = innocent

But reality is often far more complicated.

Yes — adults hold the legal responsibility.

Yes — minors cannot give legal consent.

Yes — the law must protect young people.

But it is also true that some young women learn how to control vulnerable, lonely, or emotionally unstable men.

Some use power, manipulation, guilt, dependency, flattery, or threats.

Some weaponize innocence.

Some recognise a weakness and take advantage of it.

This doesn’t excuse the adult 💔 but it shows the tragedy can have more than one victim.

Because sometimes:

The girl is damaged too.

The man is emotionally manipulated.

The wife is heartbroken.

The children are traumatised.

And the entire family becomes collateral damage.

In these situations, everyone loses.

💀💀💀

🌿 So… Who Is the Real Victim?

There is no one answer.

The real victim is:

The woman who trusted her husband for 44 years

The children who believed their father

The man who was emotionally manipulated or trapped

The young woman whose own trauma or upbringing shaped her behaviour

The family caught in the crossfire

And the truth itself, buried beneath fear, shame, and silence

Victimhood is not always one-directional.

Sometimes everyone bleeds in a different way.

💀💀💀

💡 Reflection: Lear’s Lesson in Today’s World

Lear trusted flattery over loyalty.

He chose sweet lies over honest love.

And he paid with everything he had.

We thought we needed to protect ourselves from one person.

But the danger came from another direction entirely.

This story — our story — taught me something powerful:

Trust wisely.

Love deeply.

But never forget that actions speak louder than words.

Cordelia’s quiet love is worth more than all the flattering lies in the world.

💀💀💀

🌱 Closing Thoughts

This isn’t just a story about betrayal.

It’s a story about learning, surviving, and refusing to let someone else’s choices define your future.

If you’re walking through something like this — statutory r@pe allegations, manipulation, family betrayal, broken trust — know this:

💛 You are not alone.
💛 You can rebuild.
💛 You can find peace.

Like Lear, we all face storms.

But unlike Lear, we can choose not to let the storm destroy us.

Healing, Forgiveness & Boundaries

💛  Healing After Betrayal — Forgiveness, Boundaries & Becoming Whole Again

Betrayal breaks more than trust.

It breaks identity, it breaks peace, and it breaks the way we see the world.

But healing is still possible — even when the story is painful.

💀💓💀

🌱 1. Healing: Where You Begin When Everything Has Fallen Apart

Healing isn’t a moment; it’s a slow, gentle process.

It starts with truth:

What happened was real.

It hurt you.

It changed you.

But pain doesn’t get the final say.

You get to decide what you do with the pieces.

Ways to Begin Healing

Allow yourself to feel without shame

Speak openly with a safe friend or counsellor

Journal your emotions daily

Stop blaming yourself for someone else’s choices

Choose small routines that make you feel grounded again

Healing is not forgetting.

Healing is learning to breathe again.

💓💓💓

🌿 2. Forgiveness: Not a Free Pass — A Release

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse what happened.

Forgiveness does not mean you allow them back into your life without change.

Forgiveness is for you, not for them.

It means:

You release the emotional grip the situation had on your heart

You stop carrying the pain of someone else’s actions

You reclaim your peace from their chaos

Forgiving does not mean reconciling.

Forgiving means you refuse to live in the same storm forever.

💓💓💓

🌿 3. Boundaries: The New Walls That Protect Your Peace

Boundaries are not walls to keep people away.

They are doors with locks — you choose who gets access.

Healthy Boundaries Look Like:

“I will not discuss this topic when I feel overwhelmed.”

“You cannot raise your voice at me.”

“If you lie to me, you lose access to my trust.”

“My mental peace comes first.”

“Your choices are yours, but the consequences are also yours.”

Boundaries protect your energy, your time, and your healing journey.

Without boundaries, betrayal repeats itself.

💓💓💓

🌿 4. Can Men Be Victims of Manipulation? Yes — And It’s More Common Than You Think.

Society often says: “Men must always be strong.”

“Men cannot be victims.”

“Men should have known better.”

But reality is softer than stereotypes.

Men can be:

emotionally manipulated

groomed

controlled through guilt or flattery

threatened

financially exploited

isolated from their families

too ashamed to ask for help

Men bleed silently — because the world tells them not to cry.

💓💓💓

🌿 5. Signs a Man Is Being Manipulated or Controlled

These are the red flags that families often notice long before the man does:

Red Flags in the Relationship

She isolates him from his family

She reads or controls his messages

She uses guilt (“If you leave me, I will hurt myself / report you / expose you”)

She demands money, gifts, or financial support

She appears during every phone call or visit

He becomes scared to speak freely

She threatens to accuse him if he tries to leave

He looks mentally drained, confused, or ashamed

Behavioural Changes in the Man

He avoids old friends or family

He suddenly becomes secretive

He lies to protect her

He financially struggles but continues giving her money

He feels trapped but can’t explain why

He apologises constantly

He defends her even when she harms him

💀💔💔💀

🌿 6. How Men Can Protect Themselves Emotionally & Legally (General Guidance)

⚠ This is not legal advice — these are general safety tips based on emotional and relational wellbeing.

Emotional Protection

Don’t make decisions out of fear or guilt

Speak to someone neutral (counsellor / pastor / friend)

Document messages if someone threatens you

Avoid moving in with someone who isolates you

Never allow emotional blackmail

Trust your family when they see danger you don’t

Relational Self-Defense

Set clear boundaries

Walk away when someone uses threats

Don’t allow anyone to control your money

Don’t ignore the early red flags

If someone is much younger, be extra cautious about power dynamics

Legal Self-Protection (General Principles)

Keep communication in writing

Never confront someone alone if you feel unsafe

If someone threatens false accusations, tell a neutral third party

Seek legal advice early if things feel wrong

Ensure all financial agreements are documented

Don’t give money under pressure

💔💔💔

🌿 7. Final Reflection: The Storm Does Not Define Me

Families break.

Hearts break.

Trust breaks.

But you don’t break.

I will rebuild.

I will rise quietly like Cordelia.

I have learned boundaries.

I protect my heart.

I will find peace in the ruins.

💖💖💖

🌿 Sometimes We Can’t Save the Broken

Sometimes we can’t save the broken —

not because they are unworthy of love,

not because we don’t care,

but because they don’t want to be saved.

You can pour out your heart,

open your home,

give your time, your money, your forgiveness,

and still…

some people will choose the fire over the healing.

Some people are so attached to their wounds

that they fight anyone who tries to help them.

They see love as a threat,

truth as an attack,

and boundaries as abandonment.

It doesn’t mean you failed.

It doesn’t mean you didn’t try hard enough.

It means they made a choice.

And you must make one too.

There comes a moment

when saving someone else

becomes the thing that drowns you.

There comes a moment

when your love cannot reach them —

not because it is too small,

but because their darkness is too deep

for you to carry alone.

And that’s when you must save yourself.

Let them walk their path.

Let them face their consequences.

Let them fall if they must.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do

is step back

and allow life to teach them

what your heart could not.

Because saving the broken

is only possible

when they want to be whole.

And you deserve peace too.

With all my Love

Tanya Eyssen

🐾 Bee Happy More Connections

💕 Between humans and pets (Paws & Claws section)

Between humans and pets, there’s a bond that words can’t fully describe 🐾 a language of trust, healing, and unconditional love. My rescues have taught me patience when things don’t go as planned, resilience when life feels heavy, and deep knowledge of how animals communicate through their eyes, silence, and small gestures. I’ve grown more confident helping baby birds, something that once terrified me. I used to freeze, unsure of what to do 🐾 until Blertsie the Sparrow entered my life. Five years later, she’s still teaching me how every tiny heartbeat deserves a chance. Through love and gentle care, I’ve learned that healing happens both ways 🐾 they rescue us, too.

🎨 In creativity (More Art section)

Every scrap can tell a story when touched by love and imagination. I mix bread for texture, wood glue for strength, and roof sealer for shine 🎨 creating something new from what was once forgotten. Each piece becomes a small tribute to resilience and the beauty of transformation. My art whispers a truth I’ve come to believe deeply: every lost thing, every broken heart, can have new life when given patience, time, and care. Creativity isn’t about perfection; it’s about seeing possibilities where others see trash 😍 and finding joy in bringing them to light.

🌻 In giving back (Bee Happy Campaigns)

Meet Granny Hazel 👵 a woman whose gentle smile hides a lifetime of strength. She’s recovering from painful wounds, and our mission is simple: to help her heal comfortably at home. Every small donation helps her with wound care, comfort supplies, and peace of mind. You can support her journey through our BackaBuddy fundraiser. Together, we can make her healing easier, her days brighter, and her nights pain-free. Love doesn’t just heal hearts 🙏 it can heal bodies, too. 💕

#GrannyHazel #HealingAtHome #BeeHappyMore

Granny Hazel Live Comfortably and Heal at Home: 👉BackaBuddy Fundraiser Link👈

Daily Facebook Updates: 👉BeeHappyMore Facebook👈

Want to send Granny a Healing Box? Please support her Amazon Wishlist, Delivered to her:

 👉Amazon Wishlist Link👈

Granny Hazel Whatsup Group 👉Invite Link👈

Granny Hazel Discord Server Bee Happy Paws Claws and More for those Private not shared injury content: 👉Discord Link👈

🌼 Final Thought

 “When we choose love for the right reasons, we don’t lose ourselves — we find peace.” 💛

“Love grows where kindness flows — Bee Happy, Bee Kind, Bee You.” 🐝

I would love to hear about your Love Notes. Share them in the comments below, and be sure to follow me on the main page.